MDA
by the MDA crew in Tiberias.
Once upon a time three Hanoar Hatzioni Shnatties – Emma, Sammy and Jake - rolled up to Beit Vegan (b’Yerushaliyim) to start 10 days of magical medical training with Magen David Adom. The door was locked and they were not allowed to leave the hostel making everyone a bit crackers. Having a very difficult course to work through didn’t help either, but they put their heads down and got studying and before they knew it they were being given their uniforms and told to go forth and save lives!
They left Jerusalem for the wondrous beauty of Tiberius with its rolling hills and glorious views of ‘Israel’s blue eye’, the Kinneret. The three little munchkins found their new abode on the luxurious Rehov Neiberg (No. 21 if you fancy visiting...Go up the stairs and the flats on the end of the corridor, to the right). Having unpacked and settled in they were greeted by their landlord, Yosef: a dwarf of a man, late in age but young in spirit, fluent in one language (Hebrew) and inclined to tapping young Jake (a name he struggles to pronounce) on the bottom. After long shifts at work, the 3 Shnatties enjoyed nights on Rehov Neiberg consisting of Scrabble at the dinner table, well cooked healthy meals (when we have a functioning oven – we’ve been through 2 already!), a spot of American Idol, a lot of Sky News and MTV. The Monopoly board makes an appearance – but only special occasions.
Finally, the day came for Emma, Sammy and Jake to meet their big boss at the MDA station. They got up bright and early and caught the number 9 bus to the station only to find that ‘big boss’ was having his haircut. Half an hour later, in strolls Dudu (‘big boss’) who happens to be bald (some haircut!). Quivering in their little MDA boots, Emma, Sammy and Jake were pleasantly surprised when Dudu revealed that working hours were flexible.
The 3 Shnatties had to do 5 shifts a week each – each lasting 8 hours. They could either work the morning shifts (7am to 3pm) or the night shift (11pm to 7am). Little did they know, but the next few weeks would bring some strange occurrences. Emma stumbled across a crazy, female midget who tried to escape from the ambulance and had a slight ‘accident’ on the way, leaving a pleasant little urine sample in the ambulance accompanied by a beautiful fragrance! Emma had all the luck... Sammy and her treated a Russian, trouserless, old, drunk man (many an adjective there)... Bless him, the man was not sure what he thought of the girls – flitting between aggressive threats and seductive kisses blown in their direction! Like the midget, he gave the ambulance a urine-wash too which the girls, much to their delight, had to clean up. Jake had his fair share of absurdity; being called to Tiberius High St only to find an 18 year old girl, a victim of a tumbling nut dispenser. The poor girl was sitting and crying in a pool of pistachios, cashews, peanuts, and many other nut species.
But it wasn’t all fun and games for these 3. One sad day, a 75 year old man was swimming when he lost consciousness. He was in the Tiberius spa for a birthday treat. Sammy and the MDA team arrived and gave CPR and shocks but, unfortunately, to no avail. This was (at the time of writing) the only death that the 3 travellers came across. Chest pains, heart attacks, pulmonary edemas, epileptic fits and car crashes all tested Hanoar’s little medics. ‘Rick the medic’ would have been proud.
So all in all, this little adventure of independent living in Tiberius, selfless giving of their newly found skills and constant surprise at just how stupidly people can hurt themselves has really opened the Hanoar volunteers’ eyes to Israeli society, the harsh reality of human suffering and given them a much better insight into Grey’s Anatomy, Scrubs and ER.
So with all these new gained lessons, on they stroll to Meona, their next phase of Shnat, where they will live happily ever after.
